الأطفال مش أحباب الله

فى قاعدة ما بينى وبين نفسى بعد يوم طويل مع ولاد أخواتى الجُمال المقطقطين فكرت كده وسألت نفسى: هو إحنا ليه بنقول إن الأطفال أحباب الله؟ مين اللى قال الجملة دى؟ أصله بالعقل يعنى, ليه ربنا هيحب الأطفال ومايحبنيش أنا مثلاً؟؟ طب ده حتى أنا صوتى واطى وبسمع كلام مامتى أكتر منهم. يعنى انا بحاول أعمل بالدين أهو. فا بعد ده كله ييجي حد يقولى إن الواد اللى مصداعنى من الصبح وكسر الفازة الكريستال وضرب أخوه الصغير وبيقعد يتخانق علشان مايخدش درس القرآن---يبقى برضه ربنا بيحبه! طب ده والله ظلم.

بس برضه قولت بدل ما الواحد يغلط فى حد, أنا أدور بكرامتى على جوجل وأشوف مين اللى قال إن الأطفال أحباب الله أحسن تطلع حاجة من السنة وأبقى بعارض الرسول ودى تبقى مصيبة انا مش قدها الصراحة. بس بما إنى عارفة إن دايما كلام الرسول بيتفق مع العقل فا قولت أكيد فى شئ غلط. وبالفعل دورت ولاقيت إن الأطفال مش أحباب الله ولا حاجة وإن المقولة دى تقريباً واحد حشاش أو واحد سكران اللى قالها! أو والله أعلم اللى قالها واحد إبنه كان متأخر فى الكلام او المشى مثلاً...فا كان صعبان عليه الواد ويا عينى إفتكر إن العيال كلهم بالمنظر ده...بس أنا متأكدة إن ربنا مابيسبش حق حد وإنه ربنا رزقه بعيل تانى مطلع عينه. أصل إستحالة واحد يقولها وهو فى كامل قواته العقلية!

عن نفسى وعن تجاربى مع حبايبى الحلوين اللى هما 9 اولاد إخوات...الأطفال نوعين ومالهمش تالت: هما يا إما شياطين, يا إما أبالسه! والحالة الوحيدة اللى بيكونوا فيها بنى آدمين طبيعيين, هى لما بيكونوا نايمين وده نادراً لما بيدوا لأهاليهم الفرصة العظيمة دى. لأن الشياطين بتكون لازم تطمئن الأول إن الناس نامت علشان تبطل شغل..فا هما بيستنوا الأهل يناموا وبعدين يدخلوا هما يناموا بقى.

والله يا جماعة أنا مش بكره العيال (أو بحاول أقنع نفسى إنى بحبهم) بس لو قولتولى الجنة تحت أقدام الأمهات..أقول إنى أبصم بالعشرة إن الست اللى تستحمل تربى عيال وتفضل صامدة لحد ما يكبروا من غير ما يجيلها جنان...تبقى أكيد ليها ثواب كبير.

ربنا يعين كل الأمهات والله...وفى النهاية أحب أهدى التدوينة دى لأخواتى البنات ومرات أخويا وأقول لهم انا بحب عيالكوا والله (بس بحب أودتى أكتر وهما مش جواها) وبحب أخرج معاهم (بس مش بحب نقضى الخروجة فى التواليت ولامؤاخذة) وبحب ألعب معاهم (بس مش بحب أقعد أشرح لكل واحد العبة لوحده) وبحب أحكيلهم حكايات (بس مش بحب فكرة إن التسعة لازم يقعدوا جنبى وأنا بحكى) وبحب يباتوا معايا (بس مش بحب إن كلنا نسيب السرير فاضى وننام على الأرض) وبحب نسافر مع بعض (بس مش بحب حد يصحينى 8 الصبحفى الأجازة ويقولى إصحى النور جه) وبحب أشترى ليهم هدايا (بس مش بحب إنى يوم ما أجيب حاجة ب20 لواحد يبقى معناها إنى هدفع 180 جنيه) وبحب أجادل معاهم (بس مش بحب حد يقولى إيه إنت لوك لوك لوك لوك..مش بتيطلى رغى)...بحبهم وجبايبى والله

تيا, ياسين, على, حسن, سلمى, جنى, عمر, حسين, مايا...بحبكم كلكم قد البحر

Tia, since u r the only one who reads my blog constantly, I will specially dedicate this post to u my beautiful niece (p.s. u can take my mint lip balm)

التويتر حلال ولا حرام فى رمضان؟

نظراً للحيرة الحامدة إللى بيقابلها زملاتنا على تويتر, فا نحب نطرح سؤال: هل التويتر حلال ولا حرام فى رمضان؟

إبن حنيل قال إن تويتر حرااااااااااام فى رمضان ويسبب الإفطار نظراً لما تتضمنه التويتات من بعض النميمة ومعلومات تساعد على قلب نظام الحكم وتحريض الشعب ضد العائلة المالكة!

لكن إبن حنيفة قال إن تويتر حلال ولكن بشروط

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قبل فتح جهاز الكمبيوتر أو الموبايل, يجب الإستيعاذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
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أن تكون النية خالصة للكلام فى أمور الدين وليس أمور الدنيا...يعنى مثلاً ماينفعش البنت تسأل صاحبتها حصل إيه فى مسلسل يسرا إمبارح علشان فاتتنى الحلقة! كده إنت يتعملى إعلان للمسلسل وممكن واحدة تكون ماسكة نفسها ومش عايزة تتفرج على التلفزيون ولما تشوف الكلام ده تتشد ليه وتقضى رمضان على التلفزيون بدل الذكر والصلاة
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يجب الفصل بين الرجال والنساء فى عالم التويتر...لا يجوز أن يتحدث الرجل مع إمرأة أجنبية (مش خواجية, بس واحدة مش من المحارم) والعكس صحيح. ولو فيه شك فى نوع أو نية إللى هتتكلموا معاهم, يبقى بلاش احسن كى نتجنب الشبهات
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أن لا يكون الكلام على كوباية القهوة إللى مش عارفين تصحوا من غيرها ولا نفس السيجارة إللى هتموتوا عليه! خلاص يعنى كلنا عارفين إنه الصيام حاجة صعبة وإنه النيكوتين والكافيين شئ أساسى فى حياتنا علشان نفوق واليوم يظبط, بس ما باليد حيلة
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ماينفعش خااااااالص حد يتكلم عن الشيخ "التربو" إللى بيروح يصلى التراويح عنده! ماهو مش نعمل إعلان عن الجامع ونكون سبب فى الزحمة إللى هتحصل عنده. ياريت كل واحد يخليه فى الجامع إللى بيحبه مش الجامع إللى بيخلص بسرعة

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فى رمضان بس كلمة "مبارك" ترجع كلمة يمكن إستخدمها تانى. لا تحرموا ما أحله الله يا جماعة...نمشيها شهر واحد بس مافيهاش حاجة يعنى عايزيين رمضان يكون مبارك بجد مش كلام وخلاص

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إعملوا أن فولو لأى حد بيستخدم ألفاظ بذيئة...أصل فى ناس بقى طبع عندهم إنهم يشتموا عمال على بطال فا لازم تتجنبوا الناس دى علشان ماتقعوش فى الغلط معاهم! أصل دول ماينفعش معاهم "أللهم إنى صائم"...هيستفزوكوا يعنى هيستفزوكوا وهتشتموا شئتم أم أبيتم

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لا يجوز الكلام عن الأكل بتاع عزومة إمبارح عند طنط تفيدة والأكل بتاعها إللي لا يؤكل...وإنك قومت من على الفطار من غير ما تاكل أى حاجة لدرجة إنك إتلككت بصلاة التراويح علشان تنزل وتعدى تجيب أى حاجة تاكلها!! ده اكيد حراااااام, الأكل كله نعمة من عند ربنا, حتى لو طنط تفيدة هى إللى طبخاه

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الناس إللى بتستخدم تويتر من دول غير عربية أو إسلامية مسموح لهم إنهم يعملوا بالشروط دى لحد االعصر بس, وبعد كده ممكن الأمور تمشى عادى, مع العلم أن اكيد إللى هيعمل بالشروط دى لحد الفطار هيكون ليه الأجر والثواب

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أهم حاجة لازم كله ياخد باله منها إن النشاط الوحيد المسموح بيه فى رمضان هو النشاط الدينى وأى نشاط تانى من أى نوع يبطل الصيام...وعلى إخوانا المسيحيين, (وإللى مش إخوانى) الملحدين أو بيتبعوا أى ملة تانية...مراعاة إن رمضان أهم شهر فى السنة بالنسبة للمسلمين فا ياريت تساعدونا الله يخليكم! وكل واحد حر فى إختياراته بس المساعدة والمشاركة حلوة وأهى فرصة إن إخوانا المسيحيين عندهم صيام اليومين دول فا نقدر نشجع بعض! وياريت نرفع شعار "النشطاء يمتنعون"ا

إلى أن ناتقى بعد البقلاوة والبسبوسة والكنافة...أشوفكم يعنى مع الكحك والبيتى فور والغريبة

ودى أول سنة ليه فى رمضان على تويتر وفيس بوك مع بعض فا ربنا يتقبل منى يارب

كل رمضان وإنتم طيبين J

مع العلم إن التدوينة دى كتبتها السنة إللى فاتت لشباب الفيس بوك, بس تم تعديل بعض النقاط وإعادة صياغة الكلام حتى يتماشى مع الجو العام لشباب التويتر!

عشرون عاماً أفكار إنتحارية

ياااااااااه، ٢٠ سنة مروا علي أول مرة فكرة الانتحار تييجي في بالي! تخيلوا كان عندي كام سنة أنا وقت لما كنت بفكر في الانتحار! أنا متخيلة الصدمة علي وجوه ناس كتيرة وهما بيعرفوا لأول مرة اني فكرت انتحر في يوم من الأيام! بس اللي هما مش عارفينه ان الفكرة مش بعيدة قوي دلوقتي. أصلها ماكنتش فكرة جات لي في لحظة إحباط أو طيش. لأ، هو من الواضح ان تفكيري وتركيبتي الشخصية بتحب الهروب من الواقع واختيار الحل الاسهل والمريح دائما! فا الإنتحار أكيد أسهل طريق للخروج من كل المشاكل اللي ممكن تقابل الواحد

بجد ندمانة أشد الندم اني ما انتحرتش وأنا لسه صغيرة. كنت علي الأقل وفرت تعب ومجهود ودوشة وفلوس ومكان وحاجات كتيرة قوي عليا وعلي الناس اللي حواليا. لأ وكمان كنت هدخل الجنة من غير حساب....ما أنا طفلة بقي ومش محسوب عليا أي حاجة بعملها. الغباء بقي هو اللي خلاني اتراجع عن اني فعلا انتحر! وممكن يكون كسل برضه! كل لما أجي أقول هنتحر، أقول في بالي لا لا لا....أنا هستني كده لحد لما أكبر وابقي في ييجي ٥ ابتدائي علشان أكون بعرف اكتب كويس وأقدر اسيب لأهلي جواب أودعهم فيه

وسنة تجر سنة، وأنا قاعدة في سريري بليل وبتخيل نفسي فوق سطوح بيتنا وطالعة علي  السور وبرمي نفسي خلاص من فوق…ودايما مخي يقول لي وأنا بتخيل الموقف “ما أنا مش هفرق معاهم لو انتحرت” عادي عندهم استبن كتير غيري! بس دايما بأتراجع عن الفكرة والسبب أهبل منه مفيش…علشان قال ايه مش بعرف أكتب لسه وإكمني حنينة وطيبة ماهانش علي أموت نفسي من غير ما أكون سايبة كلمتين يفتكروني بيهم! لحد لما خلاص كنت قربت أعرف اكتب جواب زي الفل والإنتحار كان الأبواب وحلم هيتحقق..وحد الله يسامحه مش فاكرة مين، قرر يقول لي ان الانتحار حرام!

يادي النيلة!!!!!! يعني أنا قاعدة ده كله، أتخيل الواقعة بتاعتي من فوق السطوح وييجي حد كده بمنتهي السهولة يقول لي أصل الانتحار حرام! وبعدين مش يكمل بقي ويقول انه الأطفال ملهمش حساب، لأ أنا كده خلاص عرفت انه حرام فا الطبيعي انه حرام عليا حتي لو لسه طفلة

ودي كانت نهاية أول وأغلي وأعز أمنية عندي! وكبرت والأفكار القديمة لسه بتراودني، بس مع الأسف النازعة الدينية عندي بتمنعني من اني إعمل حاجة زي دي

أنا بس حبيت أحتفل بالذكري ال20 معاكم علي أول مرة أفكر فيها في الانتحار… وبالمرة أوجه كلامي لكل أم وأب وأقول لهم متقللوش من عقول عيالكم! اللي انتم فاكرنهم لسه مش فاهمين حاجة، ممكن يكون عندهم أفكار تودي في داهية وبيفهموا اكتر من أي واحد عنده ١٠٠ سنة! فا رجاءاً إتكلموا مع أولادكوا وإعرفوا مشاكلهم . وحتي إحكوا لهم علي مشاكلكوا علشان ده ممكن يفهمهم انتوا ليه بتزعقوا لبعض علي مصروف البيت مثلا! ووقتها هيعرفوا ان السبب مش منهم وان الدنيا وحشة وده الطبيعي إن الناس بتتخنق وبطلع من شعورها, بس رغم كل المشاكل لسه بتحبوهم. يعني عاملوهم زي حد كبير وعقله كبير

في النهاية أحب أقول اني الحمد لله مش عندي عقد نفسية قوي....يعني عندي العقد الطبيعية زي اللي عند كل الناس! وبحب الدنيا معظم الوقت وبشوف الناس كلها طيبة! بس مايمنعش ان أفكار الطفولة بتجييلي من وقت للتاني

43 Things Tags: Suicide

ربنا يفك عقدتي ويفتحها في وشي

بقالي كتييييير مش عارفة أكتب أي حاجه علي المدونة.. ولا حتي فيه مواضيع راضية تييجي علي بالي! يمكن يكون ده راجع لأني قررت اكتب بالعربي بس؟ واني قررت لو كتبت بالانجليزي هكتب انجليزي صرف من غير أي فرانكواراب داخل في النص. يعني بمعني أصح مش هخلط تاني بين العربي والانجليزي

دلوقتي مش عارفة اكتب انجليزي لوحده وفي نفس الوقت مش عارفة اكتب بالعربي كويس! رغم اني بقيت بكتب بسرعة علي الكمبيوتر بالعربي بس برضه مش بحس انه بعرف أعبر عن نفسي كويس بالعربي

الموضوع ده بجد بوخ وبقي يزهق! هفضل كده يعني كتيرأتكلم عن اللغة وضياع الهوية؟ المفروض بقي خلاص الواحد يبقي اكسبريس وزي الفل في الكتابة واكتب كل اللي أنا عايزاه من غير ما أحس اني كاتبة كل الكلام غلط ومش مفهوم! علشان المفروض انه المرحلة اللي جاية ابتدي اكتب بالفصحي ومش عامي

ربنا يفتحها في وشي يا رب ويفك عقدة اللغة وابقي زي اللهلوبة! واكتب فصحي وعامي وانجليزي وكله يبقي تمام. أدعولي

LiveJournal Tags: اللغة االعربية,الفرانكوآراب

باللغة العربية الفصحي…استيقظ وركز واصحي

علي قد ما العرق الصعيدي اللي فيا بينأح عليا و بيقولي ماكتبش بالعربي وانه اللي مش عجبه طريقة كتابة "الفرانكو اراب" اللعينة بتاعتي...مش لازم يقرأ.

بعدين ما هو أنا أصلا بكتب لنفسي...أو أخرتها في كام حد من صحابي بيقرأوا "المدونة" (ده علي اساس انهم لما قلتلهم انا عملت blog فهموا هو ايه فا ما بالك لو كنت قلت أنا عملت مدونة!)....بس عشان يجاملوني بيدخلوا علي المدونة...و لو الموضوع خفيف و ملوش في السياسة يبقي موضوع حلو...لكن سياسة وحال البلد وكلام كبير يوجع القلب...يبقي موضوع بايخ أكيد. انا اصلا مليش في السياسة فا مواضيعي خفيف خفيف عشان الشباب ينبسطوا!

بس بما اني مع الأسف عارفة من زمان انه اللغة بنبوظها بالكتابة بتاعتنا دي! بس دايما كنت بقول لنفسي....لا أكيد الموضوع مش صعب قوي كدة....أكيد لو بس دربت نفسي اني اكتب بالعربي...الموضوع هيبقي سهل وهعرف اكتب علي طول...أنا بس اللي مش في بالي....بس اللي حصل اني قولت اجرب اكتب واشوف انا مستوايا ايه! ولقيت الدنيا زفت!!!! ....ومش زفت عشان باخد وقت أدور علي الحرف وأنا بكتب....لأ ده طلع اني باخد وقت أفكر هي "دربت“trained- ولا هي بتكتب بال "ض" وبكده تبقي "ضربت – hit" فا أظن ان المعني هيفرق كتييييييررررر...كلمة تطلعني بنت عندها مثابرة وبتفضل ورا الحاجه لحد ما اعملها, وكلمة تطلعني واحدة عنيفة!

اول يوم قررت ابتدي اكتب بالعربي و قولت اجرب ابعت مسج من الموبايل...ونجحت فعلا وبعتها لصاحبتي...قلت اشوف الرد هيكون ايه... لقيت الرد عبارة عن مسج ملهاش علاقة باللي انا بسأله و بتقول "why are you writing in Arabic"...قولت يادي النصيييييبة!!!! ده الموضوع مبقاش اني لسه بعرف اكتب بالعربي ولا لأ....ده بقي انا بكتب عربي ليه اصلاً؟؟؟ قولت أكيد المشكلة عادي في الموبايل بتاعها وانه مش يقرأ عربي فا عشان كده اضيقت اني كتبت بالعربي....فا قولت اتصل أشوف ايه الموضوع ....لما كلمت صاحبتي وقولتلها ليه مستغربة اني كتبت بالعربي؟ قالتلي اصل مش متعوده انك تكتبي عربي وبعدين بتعب وانا بقرأ عربي فا “please” متكتبليش عربي!!

وهنالك فقط ادركت المأساة التي نعيشها. مأساة اننا لم نعُد نكتب ونمارس لغتنا العربية وما يزيد الطين بلة أنه مع مرور الوقت اصبحنا نجد صعوبة في قرأتها أيضاً! إنها كارثة بكل المقاييس, والمشكلة الحقيقية أن المصيبة تحدث في صمت, دون ان يدري بها أحد, من غير أن يلتفت اليها أحد ويحذرنا منها قبل فوات الآوان.

هويتناالعربية تضيع, نفقدها عندما لا نستطيع التفريق بين ال"ض" وال"د". برغم أن الحرفان منفصلان ونستخدمهما بالتساوي في الكتابة, ولكننا لم نعد ننتبه أن اللغة العربية تسمي لغة ال"ض", فإن أضعنا هذا الحرف, بالطبع سنفقد معه ما يميزنا عن بقية الشعوب.

لقد حان الوقت ليعرف كل شخص منا من يريد أن يكون. هل نريد أن نكون نسخة مقلدة من الغرب؟ أم نريد أن نحتفظ بالقليل الذي لا يملكه سوانا؟ القرار صعب, والاختيار أصعب لأنه يحتاج لتكسير حواجز قد بناها الوقت علي مر السنين. هل سننجح؟

ان هذا المقال يعد أول محاولة لي لهدم ما بنيته في سنوات كثيرة. حتما أن ما أخذ كل مني هذا الوقت لإنشاءه, لن ينهار في أيام قليلة.

نعتذر عن اي “ق” مكان “ك” او اي “ط” مكان “ت” او اي “ظ” مكان “ذ” يعني او اي غلط في اي حاجه...بس المهم اني حاولت وبحاول وهحاول!

Identity Crisis…..Am I a Facebookian or a Twitterian?????

Damn you my school…Damn you my university….Damn the Egyptian Educational System….Damn the Society…...Damn Peer Pressure….Damn the Traditions….Damn the Culture….and Definitely Damn Everything that’s leading me to have such an Identity Crisis!!!

Who am I??? Where do I belong??? Which person do I really care for?? Do I care for the Facebook person in me? Or do I care more for the Twitter person in me? Or do I want to live a little bit of this and a little bit of that? Reaching a middle point in between is waaayyyyy toooooo hard!!!

Am I the person who hates the stupid "francoarab" way of writing….and yet insists on using it all the time? Or am I the person who forces herself to type in Arabic (sometimes) no matter how time it takes me to find the ذ on the keyboard!!!!

Al la3na 3ala kol ma yatsabab fel identity crisis that I am facing now…al la3na 3ala el Twitter!

Al hamd lelah…so far ma7adesh men el airheads ektashafo el Twitter or are interested in using it we lisa el Facebook howa a7san 7aga fe 7ayat-hom….bas homa ebtado yezha2o we 2arabo yedawaro 3ala el Twitter…maho dah dayman el bey7sal….yezha2o mel 3agamy we yetla3o 3ala Marina…yezha2o men Marina fa yetla3o 3ala Diplo….yezha2o men kol dol…fa yetla3o 3ala gomheryet Marassi al mota7eda!!

El wa7ed yed7'ol 3al Facebook yela2y el nas laziza we having fun we status kolaha "Here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life" - Barney Stinson" wala maslan "so happy 4 my sweet …….. babeeeeeee" wala maslan "First Villa, next Fabregas...Barca just keep getting better and better!"

 

We ala2y nas da7'la teshtery shonat LV we Prada we Gucci we ye3melo online shopping we actually they do have the money to buy…we ala2y el events le 7agat lateefa…open days, weddings, birthdays, trips abroad, openings to major events…ya3ny mel a7'er people who are living their lives in the best possible way with no worries and no concerns!

 

On the other hand….el wa7ed yetnayel yed7'ol 3al Twitter…yela2y shellet activists a3deen 3amaleen yetkalemo 3an 7al el balad…we mish 3arfa meen et2abad 3alih…we mish 3arfa el mozaharat beta3et feen 7asal feeha eh….we terrorists attacks…we demonstrations we 7al balad yek2eb….we nas teshtem fe mobarak we nas mestanya el Baradie yeegy....we nas ta3bana fe om el balad de!!!

Ana meen feehom? Dana awel lama da7'alt el Twitter we ba2ool ya hady…wa7da dabetny post 3an el nas el betkteb bel francoarab style and are not caring about our beloved language!! Check it out Here Wala howa ana ya3ny lama akteb "mozza" we "hartala" we "edeeny fel hayef wana a7ebak ya nananas" bel 7oroof el 3araby…dah hay7'aly el lo3'a a7san??? Maho kalamna daye3 men el asas…Ah el wa7ed 3aref en our language is deteriorating we ah ana 3arfa eno I am not doing anything about it or to improve it…and yes my mum hates it when she sees me writing like this on facebook and always preaches me about how our language is collapsing and that i shouldnt write this way….but HELL we live in a society and culture where the stronger dominates…ma3a e3terady el shedeed we eny nawya ada7'al 3eyaly madares 7okoomy men asaso 3ashan yetnayelo we yethabebo we yet3alemo ely ma3reftesh at3alemo…we mayed7'oloosh madares tefdal te2olohom "talk in English please" el howa katkom el araf wala tala3toony ba3raf 3araby wala engleezy wala 3arfa ana taba3 Facebook wala Twitter!!

So to hell with everything!!! I will be me…no one is to judge me! Will not allow the Facebookians to judge what I do on Twitter and I will not allow Twitterians to judge what I do on Facebook…. I am both and will always be both….I will always have this Identity Crisis and will always remain in between...not Knowing where do I belong. I will always feel eno shabab el Facebook tafheen we day3een we mawarhomsh 7aga 3'eer el gossip and going out and living in their own Bubble….and at the same time I will always feel that the Twitter people are way ko2aba and I will always be the airheaded girl between them!

Al La3na 3ala al gamee3 (including me)

Sebko mel Sagayer we Sebko mel Me3asel...dah el 7ashish howa ely Beyestel!

Good News to all anti-smokers out there...Taxes on Cigarettes, Me3asel wel "Nesho2" will increase by a percentage ranging between 40-100 %


Howa el 7okooma bet2ool enohom hayzawedo el dareeba 3ala 7abet 7agat kda 3ashan el public debt mish 3arfeen yesedooh meneen....bas el so2al hena....leh el 7okooma 3ayza te7rem el nas men el sagayer???

Ya3ny el nas mish la2ya telbes, wala la2ya takol, we yadobak el sagayer wel shay homa el bey3delo el tasa....tela2y el wa7ed men dol mish 7'arman sogara ma3a kobayet shay 3al sob7 3ashan yefawa2 we yerakez....fa leh haye7remo el nas men a2al 7aga momkin tebset-hom???

Bas I think eno feh kaza sabab wara el mawdoo3 dah...being an economists (aw ma3aya shehada fel ektesad me3ala2aha fel matba7')...fa ne2dar ne2ol eno lama el price bta3 commodity beyzeed aktar men el satisfaction ely el wa7ed haya7'do men nafas el segara....fa kda mish haykoon equal to what you actually pay for el nafas dah (we manensash sooret el shab el mayet el 7atooh 3ala 3elbet el sagayer, we manensash bardo el sora el mish 3arfa awsefha be eh 3'eer eno fel fatra ely fatet el yebos 3ala 3elbet sagayer beytkesef aktar men eno yetfarag 3ala "el 7a2ee2a wara2 Melody Drama") fa be basata el 7okooma 7'alas mish 3ayza el nas teshrab sagayer....they are trying to decrease the satisfaction that people gets out of smoking cigarettes....ya ged3an dah 7ata el sagayer wel shisha 7'atar 3al se7a.

fa el 7al ba2a yekoon eh lama el sagayer te3'la??? el wa7ed momkin ye3mel shift between products....ya3ny el sagayer wel shisha ba2o 3'alyeen...ne7'aleena fel 7ashish wel bango!

Walahi el 7okoma deh laziza awi...they increased the price of tobacco products and at the same time el Azhar tala3 fatwa (lisa feh gadal 3aliha) el fatwa bet2ool "تبيح استخدام المخدرات في أغراض طبية " ......ya3ny homa beyedoko hint men ta7t le ta7t aho enoko te7ashisho we ento el bardo mosamemeen 3al sagayer??? Mish fahma ya3ny ye3melo eh aktar men kda??? Sowar we 7atolko 3al 3elab....darayeb we 3'alo se3raha twice....eh ba2a??? Hanetma3 wala hanetma3?


Your chance is out there guys...Enjoy the 7ashish...Enjoy the Bango....and then you might as well Enjoy the Country and stop complaining about the Syster....Be the System...Enjoy the System!

P.S. I am a big anti-cigarettes person...but is it true that imposing a Tax on Tobacco Products has become our only way towards balancing our public debt? Seebo 7aga lel nas tetkayef beeha ba2a 7aram 3aliko....ah sa7 ana asfa...neseet enohom hayetkayefo bel 7ashish badal el sagayer kda!

Edeeny el 7o2na Besor3a...Argook Me7taga el Gor3a

الي أمن الدولة و بئس المصير

Heya aslaha 7'arbana 7'arbana.....ana maleesh fel seyasa we mish ba7eb el seyasa...bas bema enaha 7'arbana keda wala keda....fa mafeesh mane3 enaha tekmal ba2a.....

Good News....Starbucks, Sequoia and the Four Seasons didn't increase their Menu Prices!!

Ana kan maly we mal el seyasa bas!! Wala maly we mal 7al el balad….akteb 3anhom leeh??

Mana a3da betna mo3azaza mokarama….. wakla, sharba, nayma, 7'arga and someone is paying my bills!!

Asl ya3ny el Sokkar 3'ely….did it affect me? Did this make Starbuck increase the price of its Latté? Maho lisa badfa3 el 20 geneeh fe kobayet el Lattee beta3et kol youm! Wala maslan Le Carnaval kan 3'ala se3r el 7aga beta3to? Lisa bardo nafs as3ar el torat wel gateaux…

Wala el la7ma ely wesel se3raha 80 geneeh…..hal dah 7'ala el Four Seasons ye3'aly se3r el open Sushi and Steak Night beta3 every Tuesday? HELL NO!!! The price is still the same!

Wala el samak ya3ny lama se3ro ye3'la…we 7ata law Mori Sushi increased the prices of its Menu….will this cause Sequoia eno ye2alel se3r el minimum charge? Bardo la2a…da el wa7ed mabye3rafsh ye7'alas el minimum charge henak ezay aslan!

Fa bgad bgad….ana mish fahma el nas betshteky men eh??? Maho el restaurants wel cafehat kolaha ahom saybeen as3arhom zy ma heya!!!

Ya3ny 3ayzeen el 7okooma te3mel eh?? Mish zanbohom en as3ar el 7aga is increasing?? You can go protest to the "Carrefour" guys…they are the ones who increase prices!!!

So people seriously you've got to stop all the stupid demonstrations that’s been going on and stop complaining about everything in life!

Come on…look at the bright side…and if you can no longer afford going to the fancy places….balash Starbucks and get your latte from On the Run…we balash Four Seasons and go to Le Pacha instead….we balaha Sequoia we ro7o Caracas!!!

Bgad I hate whiny people….mish ma32oula bgad!!!

P.S. Leh ya Daddy magebteleesh Villa fe France so that I can take some time off we asafer a3'ayar gaw henak we arta7 men el mahzala ely bet7sal fel balad deh! El nas mish 3arfa te2adar 7'alas meen el sabab fe zeyadet el as3ar we 3amleen dawsha tool el nahar 3al fady!!

Men Enahrda Mafeesh 7okooma

Ana embare7 2olt eny lama amsek el 7okooma han2el maglesh el sha3b wel shora fe west el sa7ara 3ashan el 3ayez ya3tasem ya7'od ra7to henak we aho ma7adesh yesma3lohom…bas mish ma3na eny a2ool el nas ta7'od ra7et-ha fel e3tesam….mish enohom ya7'do ra7et-hom awi kda!!

Ya3ny mish le daraget en el nas ba2et ta3tasem we lamo2a7'za fe de el kelma bel "underwear"!!

Howa shaklaha kda men el naharda mafeesh 7okooma! We mish ana el 7okooma…bas I think eno el mawdoo3 kan ba2alo shewaya we howa "mafeesh 7okooma" mish enahrda bas!

 

Check out this Article for more details

Men el Nahrda Mafeesh 7okooma…Ana el 7okooma!

Ma7adesh ye2dar yenker el dor el kebeer ely el 7okooma bet3melo for our lovely and beloved (or so i assume) country. Bas el wa7ed nefso besara7a el 7okooma ta7'od agaza shwya…mish 3ashan 7aga, bas 3ashan el nas (el heya el 7okooma tab3an) sha2yana we ta3bana tol el nahar fa men 7a2aha ta7'od agaza…..we 3ashan ye3rafo yetla3o agaza, lazem 7ad yemsek makanhom…fa men el a7'er…

Men el Nahrda Mafeesh 7okooma…Ana el 7okooma!

We bema eny mish hakoon 3ayza adaya3 wa2t teweel 3ashan al7a2 abl ma amsek el mohema el gedida bta3ty fa akeed fe 7agat lazem a3melha besor3a we awelha…

Haroo7 azoor we asalem 3ala kol el nas we kol so7aby we 7abyby ely ha3od wa2t keteeeeeeeerrrr awi mashofhomsh…..asly madmansh ha7'rog men el 7okooma tany emta….asl ta2reban el 7okooma feha bab do7'ool we mafeesh exit door….we 3ala ra2y el masal ely bey2ol….howa de7'ool el 7amam zy 7'orogo…el 7amam el wa7ed bey7'rog meno merta7…wel 7okooma el wa7ed bey7'rog menha 3ala ra7a abadeya bardak!

Ba3d el salam wel kalam….kda ba2a nebtedy el sho3'l el mateen we wa7da wa7da ha2dar a3ady bel balad de le bar el aman 3ala masafet ma yeegy el karn el 22 kda….maho mafeesh 7aga be3eeda 3ala rabena. 

Besm Allah al ra7man al ra7eem we hanebda2 el Leila…… Karana na7no bema howa 2aty:

 

 

1- Han2el magles el sha3b wel shora le makan fe nos el sa7ara…el nas el 3ayza te3tasem ba2a we tebat henak…teroo7 tetnayel fe west el sa7ara….bas maygoosh fe west el walad yewa2afo el taree2 lel raye7 yeshof masal7o we ash3'alo….7'alas 7'aleeko henak ba2a e3tasemo we e3melo el ento 3ayzeeno le7ad ma neshof hansaketko ezay men 3'eer ma nedelko matalebko! Asl shakl el nas ebtadet testa7laha a3da we kol men hab we dab haye3mely e3tesam….we 3ala eh waaga3 el dema3'…ana a3melohom makan special ya3tasemo feh ganb el magles el gedid….we a7'aly el nas testarza2 menhom…negeeb 3arabeyet foul we koshary we wa7ed ye3melohom shay….we tamam el tamam….yo3odo henak yenafa3o el nas el 3'alaba deh…we ya3tasemo bera7et-hom we fe nafs el wa2t mangebsh za7ma fe west el balad aktar men keda…..we ahy masla7a bardo eno Ahmed Ezz yet7a'ne2 fe magels el sha3b lewa7do fe west el sa7ara howa we ba2eet el shabab beto3 el magles men 3'eer ma 7ad yesam3hom!

2- Ha7'aly kol a7zab el mo3arda te2ool ra2yaha be montaha el 7oreya….we ha7'aly el e7'wan yeb2o akbar men el 7ezb el watany Kaman we leehom amaken fe magles el sha3b keteera awi zy ma homa 3ayzeen….laken ely mish har7amhom ba2a……ay wa7ed haybayen no2tet 3'aba2 aw yetkalem we howa aslan 3'aby…da ba2a mish bs hawadeeh el mo3ta2al…wala amn el dawla....la2, el mo3ta2al we amn el dawla ra7ma bel nesbalo….ana hasalat 3alih zabet malyan 3o2ad nafseya mekalka3a we aboh we omo kano beydrabooh we howa so3'ayar we kamaaannn 3ando 7ekd tabaky we malyan 3'el 3ayez yetala3o 3al nas…… el zabet el sokkara dah ba2a haya7'od el 3'aby men dool 3ando kda fel 2esm we haseebo yedala3o be ma3refto…we hadeelo kol el sala7eyat!! The Government's New Slogan would be: Ma3an le Nag3al Masr Bela A3'beya2!!!! Asta7mel ay 7aga fel donia ela el 3'aba2!

3- Ha7ot ba2a restrictions le ay 7ad yesta3mel el mowasalat el 3ama…..ay wa7ed hayerkab ay mowasalat men 3'eer ma yekoon mesta7amy abl ma yenzel el sob7…….wala yekon mesta7amy 7ata el sob7 we ma7atesh deodorant fa re7to ba2et 3ara2 3ala ba3d el dohr.….hayetshad men 2afah we yetmene3 men rekoob ay mowasla 3ama le ba2eet 7ayato!!! we 3ala Allah ashem re7eet wa7ed mish mesta7amy, bas beystazka we 3amel feha mesta7amy we 7atetly perfume men betoo3 "asans shadia"…da ba2a wala ta2beeda hatkafeeh 3ekab!! we 3ashan nesahel lel mowataneeen mawdoo3 el 7omoom….hanwaza3 sabona hedeya ma3a ay 7ad ye3mel aboneeh fe ay mowaasla….we Kaman hanwaza3 deodrants for free….we 3ashan ya3ny ner7am el nas shwya bardo…..ha3mel makan 3and kol maw2af autobees aw microbaass we ma7atat el metro…wel makan dah haykoon feh shower we saboon we shampoo wel 7agat ely el nas bet7'af testa7'demha deh…3ashan ely nesy yesta7ama el sob7…hadeelo forsa a7'era we mayeb2ash 3ando 7egga!

4- Ay wa7ed beyshrab sagayer we 3eyalo el so3'ayareen a3deen ma3ah fe nafs el 2oda…. aw ay 7ad yekoon metgawez badry abl so7abo….we yekoon 3ayez yo7'rog ma3a so7ab fa ye2oom ya7'od 3eyalo yefasa7hom ma3ah fel cafehat el feha shisha we sagayer…..dol ba2a ha3mel karar a7'odhom we a7otohom fe 2oda ma2foola mafeehash wala shebak wala ay makan yed7'ol meno nesmet hawa….we hageeeb shellet nas betshrab sagayer 7aree2a yenfo7'o fel 2oda deh men bara….we howa yo3od ba2a lewa7do gowa zy el kalb men 3'eer ma yekoon ma3ah wala segara! La2 we ha7'aleehom kaman yenfo7'o do7'an sagayer cleopatra!!

5- Zy ma ro7'set el 3arabeya beykoon maktoob 3aliha rakam el shaseeh 3ashan ma7adesh ye3raf yebee3 3arabeya masroo2a….ha3mel karar gomhoory eno el 3arabeyat el BMW wel Mercedes tenzel be unique number maktoob 3ala el 3alama bta3et el BMW wel Mercedes we tetsagel fel ro7'sa bta3et el 3arabeya….we ay kalb ye7awel yesra2aha ba2a men 3arabeyet 3'alban (aw mish 3'alban awi, howa akeed el sara2 el 3alama howa el 3'alban bas 3ando 7ekd tabaky) bas 3amatan….el haye3mel kda….sa3et-ha mish haye3raf yetsaraf fel 3alama we hayseeb el nas fe 7alha ba2a!

6- I will BAN and FORBID the usage of internet, wel forga 3al television wel mokalmat fel mobile for more than 10 minutes and 5 sms er day…el 3ayzeen ye7ebo ba2a yetsarafo we yerga3o yeb3ato bareed….bas I will force people to read (and I will ban English books Kaman)…men el a7'er ana ha2dy 3al 2omeya el e7na feeha!!!!!! El internet ma7'alanash azkeya we lamo2a7'za da 7'alana a3'beya….mafeesh tafkeer, mafeesh lo3'a, mafeesh general knowledge….we just "google" whatever we want and then we get the answer we want to everything in life….te2olsh google dol waly men aweley2 Allah el sal7een! Fa men el a7'er el nas haterga3 le channel 1 we 2, we Nile Eucation we bas….we mafeesh any other source to the outside world 3'eer el newspapers (we 3ashan ar7am el nas shwya….ha7'aly journal el ahram yekteb correct and exact updated information)! DAMN THE TECHNOLOGY!! 

7- Kol 3asaker el moroor will be deaf and mute….mish ha3ayen 3askary wa7ed bey3raf yetkalem….awalan 3ashan a7'la2 foras 3amal gedida le kol fe2at el sha3b we tany 7aga 3ashan for GOD'S SAKE ma7adesh yekoon tayeh we yeroo7 yes2af 3askary eno yemshy ezay!!!!! Maho e7na el bengeebo le nafsena ya ged3an….batalo tes2alohom….bas ana ha7el el moshkela men asas-ha we ha3ayenhom mabyenta2oosh kelma 7ata!! We 3ashan 7'ater el nas el day3a fel shaware3….I will activate the GPS services for free le kol mowaten! 

8- Tamer Hosny…ha3melo karar lewa7do eno lazem yeroo7 el gym we ye7la2 sha3r sedro….da fe 7alet eno 3aayez ye2la3 el 2amees fe aflamo…laken law fedel bel kersh we sha3r el sedr dool….hamna3 el rekaba enaha te3red ay film men aflamo we a3'aneeh Kaman! Ya ema yetla3 ba2a fel aflam zy ba2eet 7'al2 Allah men 3'eer fat7et el 2amees ma tewsal el kersho we yebayen ba2a el balawy el benshofha deh….7aram walahi el bey7sal fel moshahed!

Ana shayfa eno kefaya keda fe awel youm sho3'l…mish 3ayza atawel 3al nas aktar men keda we ashofko fe youm gedid of my governmental duties! 3ammar ya Masr

 

Leh ya Daddy magebteleesh Helicopter??

Howa leh mafeesh helicopters keteer fe masr? I think el 7okooma should really consider making use of the air space we have. El howa leh neseeb 7eta fadya fel balad we manesta3'alhash??? 7aram de mesa7a fadya we rabena hay7asebna 3aliha ya3ny!! Ya3ny al hamd lelah we are overusing the land, and we are using the underground…so why not use el gaw Kaman?

Instead of making use of the tiniest space fel shaware3…el howa badal ma nezawed el 3arabeyat aktar we aktar…aw badal ma nefta7 7'otoot gedid lel metro ...we can also make use lel gaw...bas el so2al hayeb2a….e7na hane3raf nenazam el gaw???  

Media 2: Cow Madness

Well after all the hassle I received men el Media wel ro3b el galy men el earthquake beta3 1992….I entered a new encounter with the Media and a new rate of overrating something!

Netla3 bel zaman shwya le odam ba3d 1992….we ma7adsh tab3an yensa the opening of MacDonald’s in Egypt….A7’eeeerraaaaaannnnnnn gatlena el nagda we hanakol 7aga 3’eer Wimpy la2 we kaman hanakol hamborgar men belad bara men Amreeka (don’t forget en Amreeka mabte3melsh 7aga 3’alat….7ata law Mac kan bey3mel Molokhia, bardo hatetla3 a7la men el Molokhia el ben3melha bel shah2a hena fe baladna)

Being one of the privileged Egyptians ely kan daddy beysafarhom bara every summer to spend their summer vacation. Fa I was blessed to try MacDonald fe balado…we arga3 ba2a atmanzar 3al 3eyal fel madrasa 3an el sandwich el gedid el nezel fe Amreeka….aw be ma3na asa7 bema en mo3zam el 3eyal bto3 el madarasa kano zy 7alaty Daddy beta3hom beysafrahom bara kol summer….so it wasn’t eny kont batmanzar bas it was more of a discussion between us law 7ad kan 3agabo el sandwich henak wala la2….We mansash el le3ba el kont ba7’odha ma3a el happy meal…7aga kda a7la men agda3ha le3ba 3andy fe masr (for example el walad el blastik el kan bey3oom fel maya da…el kan beytba3 fe west el balad…ya3ny zy ma kont baroo7 el “States” for my summer vacation….kont bardo baroo7 west el balad we omy tegebly hodoom men 3arafa we dagany)….bas MacDonalds kan kesa we 7ekaya ba2a lama fata7 hena fe masr…..kan 7aga wahm kda….makan nero7o we feh playing area lel 3eyal (el howa kont ana) we le3ba Kaman we e7na mashyeen….7elm 7aytna kan beyt7a2a2 fe masr……we tab3an film america shika bika kan me7’aly kol el nas nefsaha tedo2 el hamborgar bta3 america…”hamborgar ya3ny la7ma we za7ma ya donia za7ma”

Manensash bardo the 2 BMWs ely waza3ohom le awel wa7ed yed7’ol far3een MacDonald’s fe masr….wel nas el kanet wa2fa bel tawabeer 3ashan ted7’ol macdonalds….we ely et2al eno nam bara 3ashan yestana Mac yefta7 3ashan yeb2a awel wa7ed yed7’ol we yeksab el 3arabya el BMW….men el a7’er Mac was the “American Dream”…it was our door to witness el 3alam el tany and discovere a different culture….i personally believe that Mac is a cultural figure in itself and not just a fast food chain

Bas ye3ady el wa2t we ye7sal 7aga tebawaz kol a7lam el sha3b el masry…..el Media bawazet a7la 7aga 7asaletlna….2afalet el bab odam el manfaz el wa7eed el meno ne2dar net3araf 3ala el donia el tanya….wel e3lam a3ad arafna be gonoon el ba2ar!! el ba2ar etganen ya ged3an!! ya 7awl Allah ya rab….ba2a el gamoosa betganen zayena kda? Heya 3andaha 3a22l 3ashan tetganen aslan? Wala betganen ezay? Wala ento 3ayzeen teganenona e7na?

We tab3an kano yegebolna sooret el ba2ara el betgry fe west el mazra3a we ye2ololna en heya de el ba2ara el magnoona….ma3a eno momkin kan yekoon fe wa7ed wara el camera maseklaha satoor we 3ayez yedba7a fa betgry meno…..Bas la2a…lazem nesada2 en el ba2ar kolo etganen,.,,,we en el la7ma fe masr et2asart men el la7ma el feh Britain we en ay 7ad yakol la7ma….hayetganen bel tab3eya….wel e3lam ye2ol we e7na nesada2!

we tab3an ma7adsh ba2a ye3ateb MacDonald’s we ma7adsh ba2a yakol la7ma 7’ales….7ata law la7ma baladi we ma7’tooma meet 7’etm…..bas shwya be shwya benensa el 7’ed3a el kebeera el de7ko beeha 3alina….we nerga3 nakol la7ma tany……asl e7na sha3b ne7eb el Broteen….da aham 7aga 3al sofra…..ya3ny yenfa3 yekoon feh fara7 men 3’eer ma el fa7’da el betelo tet7at kda fe nos el buffet? Da walahi ye2agelo el fara7 bas el fa7’da lazem tet7at fe nos el buffet 3ashan temla el 3een…..fa ebtadeena nensa el mawdoo3 we el wa7ed yerawa7 men el madrasa yela2y mama tab7’a la7ma!!! Shakl omy 3ayza teganena we te7’las mena…..la7ma ya mama?? Aiwa la7ma….asl ana ba3’selha we baslo2ha kwayes we balbes gwanty wana batbo7’ha…fa mate2la2oosh menha 7’ales…..we nerga3 tany nakol el la7ma….wala nesma3 3an 7ad etganen wala nesma3 en el marad entashar…..wala ay 7aga te7sal!!

we le7ad delwa2ty wala entashar gonoon el ba2ar wala geh masr wala ne3raf ay 7aga tanya 3ano….rabena ye7’aly el e3lam…..lazem yetla3lena be 7aga and overrate it 3ashan yefar2a3 el donia we ye7’aly el nas te7’af men ay 7aga we 7’alas…..we e7na bardo lazem nemshy warah we nesada2 men 3’eer ma nefakar…..mish 2adra a3raf meen hena el ba2ar el magnoon el sara7a???

Upcoming Media 3 Post and the New Millennium ;)

Media 1: The 1992 Earthquake

Basically….nerga3 bel zaman kda 7aga zy 17.5 years wa ta7deedan youm October 12^th, 1992…..el youm da 3omry ma hansah fe 7ayaty..…kan awel youm leya a3raf ya3ny eh zelzal!! Zelzal?? Aiwa Zelzal…..el kelma fe 7ad zat-ha te7’awef….tefla baree2a 3andaha 8 years a3da mestanya 7ad yeegy ya7’odha men el madrasa we ma3aya my 2 older sisters….we fag2a 7aga 7asalet and I found people panicking (makansh feh nas keteer 3ashan kan ma3ad el 7’oroog 7’eles ba2alo keteer) we ebtado el teachers to ask us to go to the fields….ya ged3an maho ana aslant fel 7oosh beta3 el madrasa haro7 fel 7oosh ezay tany aslan? Howa eh el bey7sal? And then I knew the word, its an earthquake! Ya3ny eh zelzal? ya3ny el ard betet7arak men ta7tena…aiwa ya3ny betet7arak ezay ya3ny mish fahma? we saboony men 3’eer ma afham ya3ny eh zelzal…kol el fehemto eno it’s a big deal we en I should panic when it happens we agry 3al 7oosh…7aga zy el fire drill kda! We tab3an I was eager to know more….i am only a kid hungry for information (da 3’eer eny kont hungry lel akl tab3an tool el wa2t) gebt el ma3lomat ba2a men 3al television el masry el 3azeem (tab3an makontsh ba2ra el garaneen wa2taha wala delwa2ty 7ata ba2rahom…we makansh feh internet to google whatever term i have in mind) we lama fehemt we 3ereft eh el bey7sal ……aw mafhemtsh awi bas shoft el 3omarat el we23et wel nas el matet….la2eet el mawdoo3 kebeer awi 3ala tefla 3andaha 8 years!

Actually the earthquake counted as my first encounter into the political world….hates2alony ezay el zelzal 3arafek bel seyasa? A2oloko ana ezay…..la2eet 7’aly beyzorna we beytkalem ma3a mamty 3an el zelzal we ely 7asal we ana tab3an mar3ooba….we la2et-hom they were talking 3an el tawabe3 beta3et el zelzal el hate7sal we eno lazem ne7’aly balna…..we en America (el heya henaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkk fe a7’er el donia) is predicting for us another earthquake within the coming days and that we should take care and be prepared! Fa tab3an fehemt en America bet3raf kol 7aga we en e7na lazem nesma3 kalam America we en kol 7aga America bet2olha lazem nesad2aha 3ashan heya America we 3omraha ma bet3’lat……we la2eet ba2a el nas are in great panic….el media bet2ool el mawdoo3 kebeer kebeer kebeeeeeer we America bet2ool eno feh zelzal tany gai fel taree2….fa el nas ya 7aram te3mel eh??? Te3mel as follows:

• Feh nas kanet betbat fel 3arabya beta3et-ha….bas el 3arbya markoona feen ba2a??? fel garage beta3 el 3omara aw ganb el 3omara!!! Yanhar abyad 3al zaka2!! El howa mamotsh law el 3omara we23et 3alaya wana fel sereer…bas amoot we ana fel 3arabya beta3ty we labes hodoomy we met2antek! asl el 3arabya gaia ba3d ta3ab seneen…..bas el sara7a law 7ad beybat fe 3arbya marceedes wala bmw mish moshkela….bas fewh nas kanet betnam fe 3arabeyat yadobak tekafy el sawa2 we beykoon maznoo2 kaman.
• Nas tanya kano beynamo we ta7t el ma7’ada beta3et-hom 3elebet el dahab wel feloos….fa awel lama ye7sal zelzal….ya7’do el 3elba we yegro 3alatol….bas mish moshkela el 3eyal ely nayma lewa7daha fel 2oda el tanya….el mohem el cash-at ya ma3alem heya el hatenfa3…..maho rabena katab el “mal” abl el “banoon”….we aho bardo el 3eyal newafar masarefha fel zaman el a7’bar dah we neraya7hom men el hayshofooh fel donia el 7elwa de!
• Feh nas ba2a….kararo eno kol 7aga beta3et rabena…we e7na nenam fel beit 3ady we awel lama ye7sal 7aga negry no2af ta7t el “kamar” beta3 el bab!!!! We da so2al bey7ayarny awii…..leh el “kamar” is the strongest part in the house??? We hal law el 3omara we23et ba3d el shar ya3ny…el kamar da will support me men ay 7aga enaha to2a3 fo2 dma3’y? 3ala asas eno el 3omara beto2a3 men 7awaleeen el kamar bas mish beteegy ta7to??? Bgad it was an automatic drill that my family taught me we 3omry ma fehemt leh momkin nekon sakeen fel first floor we fe sanya anzel el share3….bas instead we stay inside ta7t el kamar that will “support” us law 7asal 7aga ba3d el shar!! Bas my family tab3an are like the media and  amreeka and I have to trust them fe whatever they say.

Bas ya3ny el Media el sara7a 3amalet sho3’l 7elw awi fe mawdoo3 el zelzal dah…it hushed people from all the disasters that went on….it overrated whatever it wanted to overrate…..it made people think about the upcoming earthquake (el tawabe3 el 3omraha ma gat) ….instead of making them think fel 3omarat el we23et 3ashan mabnya 3’alat….asl el nas mish na2sa ka2aba ya3ny…..we 7ata law feh 3omara we23et 3ala dema3’ so7abha, they managed to make it sound like a miraculous story…we eno al hamd lelah en el 3omara we23et fo2 so7abha 3ashan ne7es be 2eradet rabena…..for example, 3omry ma hansa el story el ma3roofa beta3et el 3omara el we23et fe masr el gedida we heya lisa mabneya gedida novy….we sob7an Allah….badal ma afakar fel 3omara we ezay 3omara gedida to2a3….la2 they made us see the bright side fe en 3omara be 7alha we23et…..we despite el nas el matet wel balawy el 7asalet….shofna mo3gezet el sama2…we 2eradet Allah el fo2 el gamee3…we seme3na 3an 7akayet the most famous person in this earthquake and this building…..Aktham….el ragel el tala3ooh men ta7t el ankad bta3et 3omaret masr el gedida ba3daha be 7aga zy 1 week….and he was alive and his heart was pumping like never before…..we tala3ooh men ta7t al ankad we howa masek 2edeen merato we bento (they were dead)….walahi el dam3a kanet hatfer men 3enaya..…we manensash o7’to who was a little bit luckier than him 3ashan her apartment kanet a couple of floors higher than him fa heya makansh feh 7agat keteer we23et fo2 dma3’ha fa they managed to get her out alive men badry…..bas bardo tetkarar mo3gezet el sama2….3ashan el set awel lama 7aset bel zelzal….nata2et el shehada we a7’adet ebnaha ta7taha we a3adt fe wad3 el sogood….sob7an Allah…..Allaho Akbar……La Ellah ela Allah……bardo el dam3a hatefer men 3enaya.

Heeeeeh donia…..al hamd lelah 3ala kol 7al we al hamd lelah that I am blessed with such a beautiful country and lets point out the facts that most probably none of us do remember…yet most of us remembers quite well Aktham’s story (walahi although I was only 08 years old….bas lisa fakra shaklo we howa a3ed fel sereer 3al mostashfa wel television beysawar ma3ah) bas below are very quick facts to show what really happened:

· 550 dead

· 10000 injured

· 1000 schools badly damaged/destroyed

· 40000 left homeless

· It was "discovered" that 10,722 floors in Cairo were built without license

· The Ministry of Housing concluded at the time that all in all, 96 % of the buildings in Cairo and 85 % of the buildings in Giza violated the building codes one way or another.

· LE 4 billion worth of damage

· Prime Minister Atef Sedki appealed calmly in a televised news conference stating that: "The government is acting according to a plan and with wisdom; Problems are not solved by pressing a button." I am sure he forgot to mention how they managed to save Aktham (ne3meloko aktar men kda eh ya3ny…bentala3 nas sa7ya men ta7t el ard….mafeesh 7okooma bet3mel aktar men kda!!)

wa la 3aza2 lel sha3b el masry

More Media Posts to follow............

Media wel tachnalogia!

Ma2darsh anker eno El Media bgad 7aga laziza we gameela especially with all the technology and everything that's been going on in the current phase that we are going through. El howa we became connected 24/7 to everything and everywhere. Besara7a….people were right lama 2alolna zaman el 3alam hayeb2a karya sa3’eera.

Bgad its true gedan el mawdoo3 da....we fe3lan ba2eena karya sa3'eera…..Imagine 7ayatna kanet hateb2a ezay if we remained watching The Bold and the Beautiful kol youm at exactly 9 PM on our one and only Cannel 2...Not that I ever watched the bold and the beautchiful (which is currently airing el 7ala2a #5795!!!!!)...ma 3alina, bs by not watching this mighty series ektashaft en de kanet akbar 3'alta fe 7ayaty..... and it’s not a mistake because I missed all the talks at school about Brooke we Ridge....bas 3ashan I am currently 25 and still didn't figure out anything about relationships! The topic is just too vague and finally I ended up not believing in Love but rather believing in the famous line our parents always tells us "el 7ob beyeegy bel 3eshra ba3d el gawaz"....well let's not discuss how they weren't practicing what they preached....we eno da kalam maloosh ay asas men el se7a, bas I still forced myself to believe it (or I guess I have no other choice but to believe it)

On the other hand, if I actually watched the series while I am 10 years old 3ala Channel 2.....I wouldn't have spent my childhood watching instead captain maged wala cinema zeft el atfal wala mama samia (el kont hamoot we atla3 fel show beta3ha) we kont fehemt el donia 3ala 7a2e2t-ha men badry...... And I wouldn't have to wait until I am 7aga zy 20 or something to start watching Friends and fully understand the difference between a normal boy/girl sadaka baree2a OR el 7ob el baree2 OR el 7ob men agl el 7ob OR even el 7ob el mish baree2! Ross we Rachael 3amalo sho3'l gamed to make me know the difference el sara7a! I owe them a lot!

Anyways, life would have been quite dull without Media and without being exposed to the world and without knowing what's going on in my own country….(while watching el Jezira bel sodfa…mish 3ashan ana el sha7’seya el batfarag 3al jezira, bas 3ashan its listed between LBC wel MBC 3andena).....bas fel a7’er I end up knowing what’s going on….hours before Channel 1 aw el Qanah el masrya el 2ola…. finally decides enaha te3red el ybey7sal 3andena fel balad! Fa besara7a I can't deny all the benefits Media (combined with technology) is bringing us.

I can't deny bardo that we can now watch the newest episode of Lost, Desperate Housewives or whatever series you follow immediately right after it airs in the USA.
Wel internet kaman...da leh role kebeer as our main source of everything.... basically el internet ba2a howa el TV, el Newspaper, el Communication stream.....howa 7ayatna el sara7a we Mafeesh 3'ena 3ano!
Bas let's look at it from another perspective....Media is way overrated!!!!!!

Well let’s watch things from the beginning and see how media is way OVERRATED. Men wana so3’ayara we lisa tefla baree2a batfarag 3al Television we ana ma3rafsh leh dayman basada2 ay 7aga el Media te2olha…Safaa abo el So3ood te2oly a3’sel 2eedy bel saboona we senany bel forsha wel ma3goon we ana a3mel el te2ol 3alih….(although eny masme3tesh kalam Tamtam le boogy lama 2aletlo 7aramt teram-ram … 7aramt!)

Bas whatever ba2a type of media bat3ardlaha wa2taha….ya3ny howa wana so3’ayara ne2dar ne2ol en el Television howa kan bel nesbaly howa el media fe 7ad zat-ha….It was my one and only source for the outer world….bas 7ata lama shwya be shwya da7’al other sources of media fe 7ayaty (for example lama ba2eet a2ra el saf7a el 2ola fel ahram aw nos kelma le ahmed ragab)….bardo dayman bashofhom en homa el sa7 wel nas kolaha 3’alat….el Media mish bet3’lat.

But actually, if I think about it…how would I have remembered major incidents that happened 3abr el seneen law makansh feh media? Ya3ny el wa7ed kan hay7es en el mawdoo3 kebeer wala overrated ezay? It’s the media that would exaggerate the events OR the opposite would make it sound like something normal. It’s the Media el bet3’ayar ra2y el nas le 7aga homa momkin maykonoosh moktane3een beeha….it’s the media that is controlling everything.

Especially law fe balad zy masr….el Media knows well how to hush everyone and make everyone think about what “THEY” want to think. Ma 3alina….ana ahly bey7eboony wenaby we mish 3ayza aro7 fe dahya….we atkalem fel seyasa…. Bas I owe a lot to the media as it helped in structuring my childhood memories and it linked major parts of my life with certain events that were way overrated by the media….so let me flashback with you a little (and promise I won’t talk much about mama samia we bo2loz we 3arosty 3ashan kol el nas 7’alas etkalemt 3al el 7agat de el kona bentfarag 3alehom we e7na so3’ayareen we haroohom tarya2a….fa I would be somehow unique and would mention other major events that we encountered fel wa2t da…. assuming that the people who are reading this blogpost are somehow my age…or assuming that there is someone 3’eery bey2ra my hartala).

So wait for the sequence of events that were overrated by media……

TEA Party

Howa e7na leh ma7adesh 3azamna 3ala el "Tea Party" bta3et America?????? We ba3deen el Americans el mafrood enohom beyshrabo Coffee aktar men el Tea!!! Leh ba2a ye3melo Tea Party we ma7adsh feena yet3ezem kaman???? Ya3ny yenfa3 7ad ye3mel American Coffee Party we maye3zemsh America? howa ma7adsh aslan yenfa3 ye3mel ay 7aga men 3'eer ma ye3zem America!


Bas bema en el masryeen 3andohom edman lel Tea...we mazonesh en feh ay dawla fel 3alam sherbet Tea aktar men el masryeen....therefore, I demand that we do the biggest Tea Party ever....la2 we mish bas kda, we Tea sokar zeyada kaman! We ma3a kol cup of Tea netala3 ma3aha 7etet basboosa bel eshta!


Ya3ny el Americans mish mekafeehom enohom mekawesheen 3ala kol 7aga....la2 we kaman 3ayzeen ya7'do el Tea bta3na! Laaaaaa...laaaaaaa we alf laaaaaaaaaa kaman....ya7'do ay 7aga tanya bas youm ma yekoon fe Tea Party yeb2a e7na awla beeha!


We ana men makany da ba3zem el 7okooma 3ala the biggest Tea Party EVER...kol wa7ed masry bgad yegeeb ya 2ema 1 tsp full of tea or 1 tea bag we yeb3at-hom bel bareed el mesta3gel lel 7okooma! We nekteb ma3aha gawab ye2ol shokr lel 7okooma beta3etna...3ashan America mateb2ash a7san menena....fa men el mowaten el masry ela el 7okooma el masreya etfadalo eshrabo el Tea 3andena fel salon....wel nas el ma3andahash salon, tetsaraf ba2a we te3zem el 7okoma fe ay 7eta bas el mohem te3zemha!

We neshof meen feena ba2a ely el Tea Party beta3to hatetla3 akbar masr wala America! Bas teftekro el wa7ed yeb3at Tea Bag eh? Lipton wala el 3aroosa????


P.S. I am sure not everyone knows what's the "Tea Party" movement....bas hena mish el makan el haneshra7 feh what's a Tea Party. Bas ya3ny TEA stands for Taxed Enough Already.....aw ya3ny heya 7aga 3amla zy edrab 6 April, bas ma3a el far2 en henak bey3melooha we homa fahmeen bey3melo eh we beywsalo le 7aga we soot-hom beytseme3.....we hena bey3melooha we yebato leilteen zy el ward fel ta7'sheeba!!!


Damn it....I didn't want to go into politics but it seems that I ran out of my Hartala pills...I need to go get some 3ashan arga3 lel La La land tany...bs law fedelt 3ala kda matensoosh please teb3atoly Macdonalds we KFC badal el 3eesh wel 7alawa 3ashan dol moda adeema 7'alas!

Volcanic Ash Cloud

While surfing the internet today, it came to my notice that several European Airports were clo
sing down today because of the volcanic ash cloud that was caused by the volcanic eruption in Iceland...the ashes formed from the eruptions created a cloud that has traveled through Europe and caused airports to close.

So at first I thought that the only reason they are closing airports was only because the ash cloud restricts vision....but by digging deeper on the subject, I found out that the main reason was:
Since the airplane's craft sucks in air into the engines, so the air that is sucked from the ash cloud will contain .... Well contain surely ashes that cause failure to the craft's engines!

So back in 1982 a similar incident occurred for a British Airways craft.... as the plane passed through an ash cloud, the plane sucked in the ashes which caused the 4 engines to drop dead!!!!!

So the lovely pilot was an honest guy and he simply announced to the passengers :
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control. I trust you are not in too much distress." Eventually, after quarter of an hour without any power, the engines were brought back to life. Ash had clogged the engines, which only restarted when enough of the molten ash solidified and broke off.

We men hena ba2a nebtedy el hartala....

Ya gama3a el captain bey2ol "I trust u r not in too much distress"...akeed mafeesh distress wala 7aga!! Hayeegy meneen aslan el distress da? Dol yadobak 4 engines (el homa mafeesh 3'erhom aslan) mish sha3'aleen we e7na metsha3la2een fel gaw....fa leh momkin el wa7ed yekon distressed? Eh el moshkela lama el tayara teshta3'al men 3'eer engines??? Asl el nas el mota7'alefa mate3rafsh en el tayara could glide 7ata law el engines bayza...el sor3a bet2el shwya bas betmshy bardak. Bas we ba3deen? After t glides for a while? Mesh beto2a3 bardo wala eh???
Balash el engines wa2fa....Eh el moshkela lama el oxygen gowa el tayara ye7'las we netnafes men el masks! De 7aga baseeta 7'ales 7'ales! Tab da 7ata el hawa gowa el tayara makansh ad kda!

7aseet le wahla enohom rakbeen microbus fe share3 faisal wel motor se7'en fa el 3arabya we2fet fe nos el share3 wel sawa2 bey2ol lel zabayen ma3lish el motor we2ef enzelo 7'odo microbaz tany!!!

Howa el captain bta3 el tayara fehem 3'alat....da mish mawkef ye2ol feh ew3o tekono distressed...aslo mish hanenzel na7'od el tayara el ba3daha 3ashan manet2a7'arsh 3al meshwar el kona ray7eeno!!! Ya3ny howa kan akramlo ye3mel zy el nokta bta3et el captain el se3eedy lama kalem el passengers we 2alohom...captain hareedy yo7ayekom we bey2oloko el motor rakam 1 we2ef....we ba3deeha be shwya 2alohom el motor 2, we ba3deen 3...geh 3ala number 4...ra7 2ayel captain hareedy yo7ayekom men el parachute we yatamana lakom re7la sa3eeda!!! Heya de el spirit el sa7...panic...anxiety....stress...freak out....de kolaha emotions tabe3ya momkin el wa7ed yesta7'demha....We sa3et-ha el yel7a2 yesawat yesawat, el yetshahed yetshahed wel yo3'm 3alih yo3'm 3alih!!!

Leeha 7a2 so3ad hosny lama 3'anet we 2alet: 3ando berood a3sab esmallah, wala gara7 britany! Maho el captain kan britany bardo!

Ana mish 3arfa momkin ye7saly eh law kont fel tayara de! Bas the good news is....eno ba3d ma el captain fedel yezbot fel attitude bta3 el tayara 3ashan yedman eno yekon feh enough oxygen we fe nafs el wa2t ye2dar ye7'aly el ashes el da7'alet de to solidify fa el engines teshta3'al...rabena satarha ma3ahom we fe3lan they managed to land safely (although el 2ezaz bta3 el tayara kan medamar be sabab el ashes we makansh shayef el runway). Bas rabena ba2a lama yostorha!


El mohem...law 7ad mesafer Europe bokra we ba3do...lazem ye2aked men el flight status bta3to wel airport fel balad el raye7ha sha3'al wala ma2fool....we rabena ma3ak yaly mesafer!!

No More English Posts!

Saba7 el 7'eir, embare7 el wa7ed 3amal post bel english 3al blog...bas lama 2areeto tany la2eeto momel malal mish tabee3y! Asl el blog esmo Hartala, fa ezay wa7ed yehartel bel English??? English meen bas fel 7ar da! 2al a3mel posts bel English 2al...walahi 7awelt, bas mayenfa3sh!

Aslaha mish hateb2a hartala law bel English! Ya3ny el wa7ed yetargem le eh?
Fel posts el adeema etkalemt maslan 3ala:

"Ma7shy Berengan" law targemto da hayeb2a eh?? "Stuffed Eggplants".....ya3ny ana radya be zemet el nas...lama 7ad ye2ra "ma7shy berengan" el sora el hateegy fe mo7'o 3alatol eny wa2fa fel matba7' labsa el tereng el mateen we laffa sha3ry ta2ya we 3alihom el esharpe 3ashan re7et el akl matelza2sh feh...ama el ma7shy nafso haykoon tab3an beyshor samna we tasbeeka we 7aga kda tefta7 el nefs. Bas "stuffed eggplants" te7ases el wa7ed eno da7'alt 2olt lel taba7' ye3mely akla gedida we se7eya!

"El fostan abo karaneesh" haktebo eh? "Ruffle dress" tayeb da ana keda 7aseet 7'alas en el fostan ma3mool 3and Ellie Saab...karaneesh teb2a ruffle!!!! Mayenfa3sh


"El 3een fala2et el hagar" ha2olha.......ma3rafsh 7ata tetargem le eh de kaman! Bas ha2ol maslan "envious people could do a lot" ????? La2 la2 la2....walahi kda el ma3na baz 7'ales...el 3een fala2et el hagar te7'aly el wa7ed yata7'ayal 7asad men el masry el mateen...el 7asad el howa yegeeb el wa7ed men 2araro we ye7'aleeh yerosh mal7 kol youm odam beito we ye3mel 3arousa wara2 we ye7ra2ha we yewala3 bo7'oor we ye3ady men fo2eeh saba3 marat!

7'olaset el kalam....no more english posts...its only Hartala from now on!

Two "Soulmates" & their "Best Friend"

Well, this post will be written entirely in English and I hope it might sound as nice as other posts written earlier......... Hmmmm....well I can't say I used Arabic when I wrote my previous posts..... Because even if I don't master the Arabic language, I just can't degrade it to the degree of saying that what we call "francoarab" is actually Arabic...even if it composed of emglish letters and arabic meanings but still it has nothing to do with either Arabic nor English....but I guess we might call it "Hartala".

I will try to write my best in English just because I promised a very nice "Mozza" that I would write "Hartala" that she would understand.

Therefore, this post is specially dedicated to my "Mozza" Turkish friend and her soulmate (who is also one of my very best friends who I adore).

Before proceeding, I want to tell you girls that I am not jealous AT ALL that both of u r soulmates while I am ONLY ur friend or best friend).
But since both of u r soulmates and you are now considered more than sisters....so I guess I won't be coming between u girls and try to do something special for my best friend on her birthday....well I was trying to convince my family to allow me to fly out of the country for a couple of days, just to spend your bd with my best friend!!
I hope my "Mozza" would have thought of doing something that nice to her "soulmate" :p

I might not have shared with u memories about the wrong names written on ur birthday cakes....but as far as I recall, no one have ever gotten u a bd cake before and while we were still at ur bd we started discussing how inexpensive (I don't want to say cheap) the cake was (although it tasted really good) and then started to say who will pay the 40 L.E. For the cake (lisa na2es 40 geneeh bta3et el torta)!!!! So I guess this doesn't count as a nice bd memory to u anymore after u found ur Turkish "soulmate" :p
I am sure soulmates are the only people who would bother to buy an air ticket and fly all the way from where they are just to spend your bd with u!!! I am sure my "Mozza" did think about doing this for u as well.


So since we are only best friends I will simply make use of the 2800 LE that I was about to pay for my plane ticket and I would rather make the usual midnight bd phone call instead (its much cheaper after all :p)

So u 2 have fun together as "Soulmates".... And I won't be dedicating anything to u :p and I won't write more posts in English.


Afterall, Hartala won't be Hartala when written in English. Because simply
Hartala is "Mozza"....
Hartala is "Eshta"....
Hartala is "siko siko".....
Hartala is "Arab Garab"....
Hartala is "zis is za sphinx...el face face man wel body body lion" ---» I hope u still haven't forgotten ur very first Hartala lesson by the Pyramids with Mido our so cool Egyptian guide!
So how am I supposed to translate all these terms into English????? And I am sure u can manage reading my other posts with the translation made by ur "soulmate".....as far as I recall "Mozza was one of the very first words u learnt in Arabic!!!


Love u girls though :)

One Million is just FINE!

Sometimes I think what would I do if I had something like.....
QUARTER of a Million? NO NO......
HALF a Million? NO NO bardo.....
ONE Million Egyptian Pounds....
Dol POCKET MONEY bas, adala3 beehom nafsi shwya kda we neba7ba7ha we nefok el 7ezam 3al a7'er (bas yekon feh backup tab3an fel bank 7aga zy 20 millions 3'erhom lel zaman)


Nas tab3an hat2oly MILLION Geneeh pocket money? Da enty moftarya, mish 7asa bel nas el 3'alaba el bey3eesho be 99 geneeh fel shahr!! We ana a2oloko en dol nas tab3an gayeen yenakedo 3al wa7ed fel blog bta3o we ye7'aloh 7ata maye7lamsh haydaya3 feloso ezay! Bas 3ashan 7'ater el nas el bay7'a de....law gatly el million geneeh dol...leeko 3andy atala3 menhom 7aga zy 1000 geneeh 7eta wa7da lel nas el 3'alaba (we afteker eno ana hakoon wa7da men el nas el 3'alaba ba3d just 1 week. men lama yegeely el million geneeh....aw momkin 3 days, esboo3 keteer 3al million)


Tab nefakar ma3a ba3d....El rob3 million dol ye3melo eh fel zaman dah? Mazonesh 7ata yekafo el wa7ed ye3mel beehom Masters degree fel AUC. Although I think my AUC Masters Degree certificate (if I ever got one) hateb2a shaklaha 7elw awi fel matba7' 3andy fe beity (da law 7asal ya3ny we etgawezt....bas mafeesh 7aga be3eeda 3ala rabena isA). Bas ta7'yalo shakl el matba7' we ana me3ala2a feh shehadet ta7'arog bta3et el Bachelor degree in ECONOMICS we ta7taha kda Masters fel ECONOMICS and both are from AUC. Homa sa7ee7 wara2teen taman el wara2a bel 7ebr el 3aliha may3adeesh 10 geneeh...bas el value beta3et-hom hatkon metkalefa aktar men taman el sha2a bel 3afsh ely feha! We ya salam ba2a lama el wa7ed yed7'ol ye3mel ma7shy berengan and apply all the economics that I have studied fel gam3a....da 7ata el akl yetla3 mazboot we dma3'o metkalefa....I think hab2a mowafera awi le gozy when trying to apply all the assumptions I studied fel economics (after all the economics I have studied, ektashaft el 7a2ee2a el mora....that economics has no rules and its all based on assumptions)...but it would be trying trying to apply it fe ay 7eta we 7'alas.

El mohem eno this proves en el rob3 million maykafeesh 7aga el youmeen dool!


Tayeb ne7awel nemasheeha nos million....mashy nos million...e7na mabda2eyan fe rob3 million hatroo7 fel masters el ha3ala2ha 3al 7eeta fel matba7'...yeb2a na2es rob3. Ne2ool hageeb 3arbya gedida ba2a. We mish hageeb kaman BMW wala Mercedes....ya3ny ay 7aga me7anda2a 3ala 2ady be yeegy 200 alf. Yeb2a na2es 50 alf! We dol yadobak ye2ado shanta louis vuitton 3ala shanta prada 3ala ma7faza TOD'S we gazma Jimmy Choo yeb2a ana keda ta2reban hastelef men 7ad felos 3ashan akamel 3al 7aga de! (Don't forget eny shayla alf geneeh lel nas el 3'alaba fa aslan I have 499 thousand and not 500 kamleen)

Again, el nos million tel3et matgebsh 7aga!


Bas million geneeh kda tamam aw yadobak tezbot.....harawa2 nafsi men 3'eer ma akon meday2a 3ala nafsi! Ana mish tama3a bardo. El 3arbya teb2a Mercedes mofta7'ara lozoom el meshwar bta3 el tagamo3 lel AUC 3ashan a7dar el classes bta3et el Masters. Yeb2a kda million ela rob3 ra7o 7'alas. Nos ra7o fel 3arbya we rob3 fel masters. El rob3 el ba2y ba2a yadobak ye2ady meshwar le paris nelem fehom ba2a kam shanta Marc Jacobs 3ala Prada 3ala Balenciaga 3ala Michael Kors 3ala kam 7aga kda tanya lezoom el wagaha. We fel a7'er ageeb el 7eta el Rolex (and I doubt hayetb2a felos 3ashan agebha feha diamonds....fa 2amry lelah hagebha sada we 7'alas)!!!

We kda el million geneeh yadobak ye2adoony.....or actually mish hay2adoony and I might skip el rob3 million beto3 el Masters (ab2a atbo7' bel bachelor degree bas we 7'alas) we be feloos el Masters ab2a ageeb el Rolex bel Diamonds badal ma agebha ordee7y! Asl el 3arabya el Marchedes hatkon me7taga 7aga tenata2ha...lezoom el sheyaka ya3ny!


Wa la 3aza2 lel nas el 3'alaba!!!!!


So people might think eny bahazar aw fe3lan bahartel....bs 3ashan akoon saree7a wel kalam da maykonsh ay Hartala we 7'alas.....el sara7a el sara7a ana law ma3aya million geneeh....I'll spend less on my paris trip we hatala3 50 alf lel nas el 3'alaba mish 1000 geneeh bas....3ashan de wes3et meny shwya ana 3arfa! We kaman hadba7 3egl we afara2o.... Asl after all mish 3ayza 7ad yedrabny 3een we a3mel 7adsa bel Mercedes we heya lisa gedida! El 3een fala2et el 7agar!


P.S. Hamada 2afelt el million wala lisa????

"The trouble with being punctual is that there is nobody's there to appreciate it"

Embare7 kont ma3zooma 3ala katb ketab fel game3 el sa3a etneen. Imagine katb ketab on a Sunday at 02:00 P.M.???
awel lama et3azamt i was like....Howa el 3elteen fadyeen awi kda wala eh? Asl law 2olna el 3arosa wel 3arees lisa mabyeshta3'aloosh we mama set beit....tayeb baba? 3amo? 7'alo? ebn 3am ebn 7'alet daddy? a7'ohom el so3'ayar el lisa fel gam3a aw fel madrasa? o7'tohom el kebeera el 3eyalha fel madrasa? ay 7ad? maho mish tabee3y el nas kolaha fadya youm el 7ad ya3ny!

7'alas ana maly ba2a...kolhom wa7'deen agaza we ana wa7da mish bashta3'al fa aho kwayes eny la2eet 7aga tesaleeny we so7aby fel sho3'l el sob7 (tab3an ma7adesh menhom kan raye7 ma3aya). se7eet el sob7 we lebest el 7eta el zefra wel fostan el mabyetla3sh 3'er fel monasabat el sa3eeda wel a3yad (ew3a 7ad yefteker eno da el fostan abo karaneesh...la2 fostan mo3tabar we mostawrad kaman....abo karaneesh da beytla3 fe el 3eed el so3'ayar bas)....we tab3an be tabee3et 7al mo3zam el banat...nezelt men betna el sa3a 02:20 ma3a en katb el ketab el sa3a etneen we ana sakna be3eed awi 3ano. bas 2olt 7'alas aho el wa7ed yeroo7 yesalem fel a7'er we aslan el donia betb2a za7ma we ma7adesh wa7'ed balo men geh emta wala ya3ny el 3arosa hatseeb kol el nas we teshofny ana wana gaya met2a7'ar....we besara7a i thought eno law lafeet we rege3t and i didnt go...ha3od fel beit we tab3an mama hat2oly either: tidy up ur room we tet7'ane2 ma3aya...aw she will have this heart to heart conversation with her youngest daughter we te2oly nefsi afra7 biki? aslo ana mish shayfa ay 7ad monaseb 7awaleena 3ashan tetgawezeeh and then she will start the endless do3a el ya rab erzo2ha bel 3arees kwayes...AY 7AD YA RAB AY 7AD!!! ma 3alina lets not comment on this and get back on track.
ana kont fel taree2 le katb el ketab...kamelt fe taree2y we weselt at 03:10...ana 2olt akeeeeeedddd katb el ketab 7'eles wel nas meshyet we ra7o el lunch reception (this was at another place be3eed awi 3an el game3). da7'alt el game3 we 2olt ashof yemken yekono lisa ma7'alasoosh...la2eet o7't el 3arees ba3d el mabrook we rabena yetamem be 7'eir wel lazy meno...2oltelha omal feen el 3arosa?? she told me lisa magatsh, zamanha 3ala wesool!!! OMG!! dana gaya fe ma3ady ba2a 3ala keda...we 2olt akeed shwya wel bent hateegy....we tab3an ma7adsh men el asdeka2 kan mawgood fa a3adt lewa7dy fe korsy 3ala ganb kda we 3esht 7ayaty ana wel BlackBerry bta3y. shwya wel 3asr 2edan...ro7na tab3an saleena (akeed mish kol el nas 2amet tesaly...bas bema eny kont metwadeya fe betna fa 2omt saleet). 7'alasna sala we 2olna akeed el bent gat 7'alas ba2a! bardo mafeesh....bas bardo fedelt a3da (bas now i did find 2 of my friends to sit with). a3adna tab3an nam 3al nas...until finally el 3aroosa gat at 4:20!!!! yanhar abyad...sa3teen we nos ta27'eer!!! bs wana maly kol wa7ed 7or...7'alasna katb el ketab tab3an fe rob3 sa3a 3ashan el nas kan ba2alha keteer mestanya wel mafrood fe 3'ada ya3ny wel nas ebtadet tegoo3! we kolo tele3 gary 3al makan el feh el lunch reception.


tab3an people will wonder:
1- How come the mosque let them stay in the place for almost 3 hours?????? Da el mafrood sa3a we e2leb! well awalan 3ashan mazonesh en fe 7ad haye3mel katb ketabo on a sunday at 2:00 pm! and secondly, because the mosque beta3 wa7ed men el 2arayeb!
2- why didnt they do katb el ketab fel makan el feh el lunch? leh el sha7tata? a2oloko 3ashan el 3arees kan 3ayez ye3mel event fel game3 we yegeeb shei7' yed3y we ye2ol 7'otba we yesalo ma3a ba3d el 3asr...ya3ny he wanted a cute religious ceremony....bas the bride missed it!


Bardo wana maly ya 3am...el mohem el FOOODDDD....roz we la7ma we torta wel lazy meno and now we can start talking! weselna el hotel for the lunch recepton at almost 6:30 PM....da ba2a 3ashan kda ya ged3an! da7'alna wel 3arosa we 3arees mada7'aloosh...aslohom ra7o ya7'do their wedding photos! tab3an el ahl kano mish taye2nhom we nazelo el appetizer until they finish taking their photos. we sa3a 3adet we e7na me2adeynha 3eesh we gebna we nuts and the bride and groom still didnt show up...so the family decided to open the buffet we 7'alas.

el buffet ba2a kan gamed el sara7a, its was worth the wait....sushi we chinese corner we pasta station we kol el nefsak feh. wel 7elw kan 7elw...bas e7na a7'adna el chocolate fountain le 7esabna we a3adna ba2a...la2 a3adna a3adna ya3ny mish tahreeg.

feen ba2a 7'alasna 3ala 8:30 we kalna we kolo tamam wel hamd lelah el 3aroosa wel 3arees gom at last!!! bas ma3a el asaf....the wedding kan 7'eles...and i am sorry to tell u that u actually missed ur own wedding guys. the event took place and ended and u werent there to celebrate it ma3a el asaf!! we since eno kan fara7 men 3'eer ra2s wala hags...fa a7'adna ba3deena we mesheena!

We although I was not that punctual and bas bardo no one was there to appreciate it!

Bas sebko el akl 3awad fel a7'er kol 7aga...maho kol ta27'eera we feha 7'eera....we 3o2baly we 3o2bal Hamada of the Blog we 3o2bal kol el matgawezoosh wel metgawezeen we 3ayzeen yetgawezo tany mayemna3sh bardo!

Hartala X Hartala

This is my very first blog. Howa aslan ya3ny eh blog? Wala eh el bey7sal fel blogs? I have no clue

Bas I decided eny mish a2al men nas ketera 3andaha blogs....gat 3alaya ana ya3ny el maykonsh 3andy. Maho asl e7na 3andena fe masr el mawdoo3 yebtedy be wa7ed ye3mel 7aga we tedrab ma3ah fa el ba2y kolo ye2aledo. But the problem is, ana aslan I don't read any blogs and I don't know any bloggers, so why the hell am I creating a blog space for me?

Well, let me jump back a couple of months ago....fe leila men el layaly el kont a3da ba3mel stalking lel nas feeha 3al facebook...karart eny zehe2t men kotr el sowar el etfaragt 3aliha we profiles el shoftaha wel nas el shoft afra7hom we ana ma3rafhomsh men asaso.....at the end of my stalking session, I was just about to go and sleep. But I realized el fagr 2arab yedan so I just had to keep myself up until I pray and sleep. But since I was done with my stalking session so I was left with nothing to do....so I decided I should write a note about Facebook and post it to my wall. The note was read by many of my friends who really liked and enjoyed what I wrote. Fa 2olt eh da? Howa ana ba3raf akteb aslan?
El mohem, ramadan geh we bardo during my facebook stalking sessions (omal el wa7ed yesaly seyamo fe ramadan ezay bas...da ramadan ba2a yeegy fe 3ez el seif fa lazem 7aga tetary el a3da bardak) el mohem, I found a friend leaving a wall post 3and friend tanya bet2olaha....why aren't u answering me? Wala howa el Facebook 7aram fe Ramadan? I was going to comment 3al post de el sara7a and I actually started writing....but I found out that I have too much to share about the topic.....and therefore, I wrote my second note about whether or not el Facebook 7aram fe Ramadan wala la2? To my surprise, again many people did like my post and they told me to write more.......But I didn't write any more notes. Although I get some ideas that sometimes crosses my mind, but I just don't write them down.

So the days passed and I ignored what people said that I have a slight talent in writing (ma3rafsh de mogamla men el 7abayeb wala bgad)....bas yeegy youm 2areet feh ketab esmo..."1/4 Gram" and I just fell in love with this book and it really touched me on different levels. El mohem, I was discussing the book with a friend.....let me call him with a fake name "Mohamed"....tes2alony eshme3na Mohamed ya3ny? A2oloko 3ashan lama sa2alt el ostaz 3an his full name....fa edany lista taweela 3areeda mafehash wala Mohamed wala Ahmed wala Mahmoud!!! Fa esta3'rabt...ya3ny esmak kda bas mot2aked? Fa he was like aiwa this is my name....fa fakart maho ya 2ema christian ya 2ema mish masry!!! Aslo mayenfa3sh wa7ed masry maykonsh esmo feh wa7ed men el asamy deh! Fa men youmha I decided to give him a middle name "Mohamed".....so back to our point, during our discussion Hamada 2aly leh matektebeesh. Fa et7'adeet el sara7a! He told me but u r good, why don't u write anything that comes to ur mind. I was like Hamada ketabet eh wenaby ana wa7da ba3od youm kolo odamy el Facebook and I absolutely have no general knowledge....hakteb eh wenaby? 7'ena2ty ma3a mama kol youm? Wala el BBM el beyhaneg we mish 3afa ab3at msgs meno. Bas Hamada kan laziz...2aly ekteby ay hartala we 7'alas!!

Hartala!!!!!! Aiwa hartala, mahy el balad de kolaha hartala....gat 3alaya ya3ny ana el mahartelsh??? Wa 7'leset el conversation be eny aroo7 akteb my first blog post we Hamada ra7 to create a blogspace wala account wala ma3rafsh esmo eh el bey3melo creation da. We actually I will start my new phase of HARTALATION .....fe nas embasatet we 2aret el maktob, yeb2a 3amalna 7aga neraya7 el sha3b beha....ma7adsh da7'al to read yeb2a ana we Hamada han2adeeha sawa Hartala fe Hartala.

Yala ba2a 3ashan aro7 anaaaam